Why do men complain when they are the ones that do tuff for women without being asked or offer to?

As a guy I have to say that this whole situation is frustrating. Some girls expect a guy to grab the door and do "traditional guy stuff" and some girls are polar opposites. I'd say you're a polar opposite. It can be frustrating for a guy because ultimately they're just trying to show respect. But in this day and age, that could mean anything. It's confusing. A lot of girls still appreciate chivalry and if a guy gets a door, it's just a way of being nice. There are other ways that men can treat women as equals and vice versa. In your case, it will be important to very nicely make it clear to a guy that you don't expect him to get the door, pay the bill, etc that you are capable of doing that sort of thing and prefer to do things equally. Getting upset after the fact or getting upset because a guy umed he would be paying the check doesn't make much sense. Your frustration and anger is causing the guy to get frustrated and angry, not because he thinks you're incapable, but because he's just trying to be a gentlemen and do the right thing (which like I said, is confusing and means many different things to many different people).